One Little Word for 2014

Welcome to the January 2014 Carnival of Natural Parenting: The More Things Stay the Same
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have talked about the continuity and constancy in their lives. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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Every year I like to pick a word to help focus my attention and actions.

Last year I chose gratitude for my one little word because I wanted to change our habit of focusing on the negative and being frustrated with life. I wanted my family to be happier with what we have and how we live. The previous year I chose move, because I wanted to be make being more active a daily habit.

This year I have chosen make as my one little word. This isn’t a change in direction for me, and it isn’t going to cause big changes in my life. I have already made a commitment to make things by hand or from scratch. I enjoy crafting and learning how to make things myself. So if I already do this, why did I chose make as my one little word?

My latest batch of fire cider. The peppers were so hot
my hands were on fire. 

I spent very little time in stores and malls over the Christmas season this year, and when I did I continually noted all the things that I didn’t need because I could probably make them myself. I love the creative process, but somehow it ends up being on the bottom of my list, with three daughters, a job and activities.

Some of the presents I made for Christmas this year:
lip balm, lavender bath salts, cup cozies, hand towels.

I already grow my own food in my kitchen garden in the growing season. I make cards and presents for friends and family as much as possible. I enjoy knitting. I have been learning more about making my own personal care products. I make food from scratch as much as time permits.

I enjoy making cards.

This year I am committing to doing all of this as much as I can, as much as I enjoy it. I am learning which things are worth the effort of making by hand (and homemade goldfish crackers are not one of them, which I learned the hard way). I like knowing how things are made and what the ingredients are.

Delicious homemade crackers that took half a day to make.
Not sure they're worth the effort.

Some things I want to continue making this year:

Now that I make fresh pasta I can
never go back to store bought pasta.

• Pasta
• Bread
• Hand knit items for children, toys, small presents like cup cozies
• My garden
• Meals from my garden
• Shampoo
• Lip balm
• Plastic free food wraps
• Cards
• Presents for teachers (like handmade cards)
• Presents for family members, such as homemade photo canvases
• home cleaning supplies

Some things I hope to make this year:

• gluten free pasta and bread (so far I have only had abysmal failures with gluten free breads)
• A hand knit sweater for me
• Something on my sewing machine (this has been on my list for a number of years)
• Canned food from my garden
• Mascara and other makeup
• Kombucha tea
• Jewelry (for presents)
• yogurt
• cheese
• deodorant

I am not going to be disappointed if I don’t meet some internal standard that I have set for myself, however, because I am not setting a standard that I feel I have to meet. I know that life ebbs and flows, and there are times when I will need to walk into a store and just buy something for my own sanity. But there are times when I will have time to learn how to make new things. I am fortunate to have my summers off because I am a teacher, and this gives me great latitude to take on projects that require time and energy.

So I am hoping to play and create more this year. It may be my easiest and most fun one little word yet.

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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be updated by afternoon January 14 with all the carnival links.)

• Always an Artist — Some kids take longer than others to come into themselves, so you have to stick with them, as a parent, long after everyone else has given up, writes Douglas at Friendly Encounters.
• Not Losing Yourself as a First Time Mom — Katie at All Natural Katie continues to stay true to herself after becoming a new mom.
• Using Continuity to Help Change {Carnival of Natural Parenting} — Meegs from A New Day talks about how she is using continuity in certain areas of her life to help promote change and growth in others.
• Staying the Same : Security — Life changes all the time with growing children but Mother Goutte realised that there are other ways to 'stay the same' and feel secure, maybe a bit too much so!
• Harmony is What I'm After — Tribal Mama gushes about how constant change is really staying the same and staying the same brings powerful change.
• A Primal Need For Order and Predictability – And How I Let That Go — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares how she overcame her primal need for order and predictability once her awareness shifted, opening her eyes to the impact this had on her young daughter. Take a short journey with Jennifer and she bares her soul, exposes her weaknesses and celebrates her new outlook and approach to living life, even in the face of total chaos.
• Breastfeeding Before and After — Breastfeeding has come and gone, but Issa Waters at LoveLiveGrow finds that her relationship with her son is still just the same and just as good.
• A Real Job — Back in high school That Mama Gretchen had a simple, but worthwhile career aspiration and today she is living her dream … is it what you think?
• Comforting — sustainablemum never thought she would want things always being the same, but she explains why it is exactly what her family wants and needs.
• 'The Other Mums' and The Great Illusion — Marija Smits reflects on the 'great big magic show of life' and wonders if it will continue to remain a constant in our lives.
• Unschooling: Learning doesn't change when a child turns four — Charlotte at Winegums & Watermelons talks about the pressure of home education when everyone else's children are starting school.
• Finding Priorities in Changing Environments — Moving from Maine to a rural Alaskan island for her husband's military service, Amy at Me, Mothering, and Making it All Work found that keeping consistent with her priorities in changing environments can take some work, but is vital to continuous health and happiness.
• Keeping it "Normal" — Kellie at Our Mindful Life has moved several times in the last two years, while doing her best to keep things stable for her kids.
• The Evolution Of Our Homeschool Journey — Angela at Earth Mama's World reflects on her homeschooling journey. Homeschooling is a constant in the life of her family but the way in which they learn has been an evolution.

• Sneaking in Snuggles: Using Nurturing Touch with Older Children — When Dionna at Code Name: Mama's son was a toddler and preschooler, he was the most loving, affectionate kiddo ever. But during the course of his 5th year, he drastically reduced how often he showed affection. Dionna shares how she is mindfully nurturing moments of affection with her son.
• Steady State — Zoie at TouchstoneZ writes a letter to her partner about his constancy through the rough sailing of parenting.
• A Love You Can Depend On — Over at True Confessions of a Real Mommy, Jennifer has a sweet little poem reminding us where unconditional love really lies, so it can remain a constant for us and our children.
• Same S#!*, Different Day — Struggling against the medical current can certainly get exhausting, especially as the hunt for answers drags on like it has for Jorje of Momma Jorje.
• New Year, Still Me — Mommy Bee at Little Green Giraffe writes about how a year of change helped her rediscover something inside herself that had been the same all along.
• One Little Word for 2014 — Christy at Eco Journey In The Burbs has decided to focus on making things this year, which is what she is loves, as long as she doesn't kill herself in the process.
• The Beauty of Using Montessori Principles of Freedom and Consistency — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares the continuity of her teaching, parenting, and grandparenting philosophy using a combination of freedom and consistency.
• My Husband's Mini — Crunchy Con Mom shares which of her sons looks more like her husband's baby pictures — and the answer might surprise you!
• Growth Happens When You Aren't Looking — Lori at TEACH through Love is treasuring these fleeting moments of her daughter's early adolescence by embracing the NOW.
• A New Reality Now - Poem — As Luschka from Diary of a First Child struggles to come to terms with the loss of her mother, she shares a simple poem, at a loss for more words to say.
• Making a family bedroom — Lauren at Hobo Mama has decided to be intentional about her family's default cosleeping arrangements and find a way to keep everyone comfortable.
• New Year, Same Constants — Ana at Panda & Ananaso takes a look at some of the things that will stay the same this year as a myriad of other changes come.
• I Support You: Breastfeeding and Society — Despite how many strides we've taken to promote "breast is best," Amy at Natural Parents Network talks about how far we still have to go to normalize breastfeeding in our society.

Communication is Key

Recently my oldest daughter, who is in grade three, came home from school with an assignment to explain and promote an environmentally friendly practice that she does. I don't usually get involved with her homework unless she asks me to help her or check over her work (I tried once and I now understand why my mother did not like to help me either). This time, however, I decided to step in because she had decided to make her poster about recycling. I explained to her that there are so many things that we do in our family for the environment and that I was pretty sure that everyone in her class would make a poster about recycling.

We talked about this blog and why I started it, which is basically her poster project on the internet. She knows that I write this blog and has read it over my shoulder a few times, but I don't think it has registered with her all that much.

I talked about some of the things that I'm proud of that I accomplished last year and I let her read my "highlight reel" post. I could see the light going on for her when she made the connection between the things we do day to day and how it is good for the environment. But the fact that she was unaware of all the things we do surprised me.

It made me realize that because my daughters are getting older I need to communicate with them more about what we do as a family and why we do it. It isn't enough to just do it. I need to involve my children so that they come to understand what we value, and hopefully value it themselves.

On top of the things we read about in my highlight reel post, I reminded her of the following:

• We turn the heat down and wear hoodies, sweaters and socks when we are cold (ok, that's just me, no one else in my home seems to get cold like I do).

• We had an energy assessment shortly after moving here (almost 3 years ago) to find ways to increase the energy efficiency of our house.

• Even though we are now a two car family, our second car, the one my husband uses for work, is a hybrid vehicle, and we use that one as much as we can when we don't need to take all five of us out.

• We now have a vegetable garden and are trying to grow our own food when we can.

• We are trying to make our own food from scratch as much as possible to not only reduce packaging from the stores but also to reduce preservatives and less healthy ingredients and increase the amount of whole foods in our diet.

• We try to reduce our garbage to less than one full bin each week by recycling as much as we can and by trying to buy items with little or no packaging. I think we can do much better on this one.

• We compost all our organic food waste, either through our backyard compost bin for garden scraps and uncooked food waste or a weekly municipal pick up (table scraps, cooked waste, meat waste).

It is the last item on this list that got her creative juices flowing for her school project. She decided that she would take a picture of all the composting things we have and do and put them on her poster with captions. She was very proud of her project and I was pleased to find out that most of the kids in her class did posters about recycling - she was the only one who did compositing. 

Her poster included our kitchen counter composting containers (we need two because they fill up so quickly around here), the green bins we put out each week and the backyard compost container filled with beautiful new soil for our garden this coming spring.

So I am going to share my thinking aloud more with my girls and be more vocal about our family choices. Once again I am reminded about how important communication is when parenting.

2012 Highlight Reel

2012 has been a busy year of settling into routines, which has allowed me to try new projects and new ideas, this blog being one of them. Often at this time of year, after the big family festivities are over, I feel stuck in a rut, like I'm taking one step forward and two steps back. To help me feel a sense of accomplishment I want to look back over the year and think about everything that has helped me move forward on my life path.

When my children were very little most of my energies were devoted to meeting their immediate needs. I know that some women are able to balance their babies' needs and their own, but I am not one of them. Working part time and being a mother was pretty much all I could handle. As much as some say it might not be emotionally healthy, I am an all or nothing sort of person, as my husband will tell you. I think that in the past I have avoided getting into something new because I don't enjoy it unless I can throw myself wholeheartedly into it, which leaves little of my attention for anything else. Therefore it isn't surprising that looking after a baby took much of what I had to give.

My wee one when she was a newborn. 

My youngest daughter will be turning three in 2013 and I am finally beginning to feel like she does not require my full and undivided attention all day long as infants do. There are moments I can carve out for my own projects and passions that sustain me and fulfill my creative side, which I have been missing for a long time. Not for long, mind you, because she is a little monkey and into everything so much more than I remember my other daughters being. She has redecorated my walls with pens, added colour to my couch with juice, and added patterns to my carpet with a sharpie.

I want my daughters to see me being a life-long learner and meaningfully engaged in something because I believe that modelling is one of the best form of learning for children. It fills my heart to hear my daughters'  questions about what I am doing and see my daughters grab crafting supplies to make alongside me. I want them to be happy in life and I believe one path to happiness is to have interests and passions.

I am grateful that I have developed an interest in photography because it gives me something creative I can do with small children. Besides, what parent doesn't like taking pictures of their kids?!

My five year old in particular has followed in my footsteps and enjoys photography.

It is easy as a women to be overly harsh and self-judging. I could compare myself to the other mothers who always seem to be more calm, patient and together than me. I could compare myself to other crafters or gardeners who seem more knowledgeable and talented. I'm sure, though, that for every person I could compare myself to there is someone who sees me as talented and knowledgeable. I'm not saying I am talented because I know what is going on in my head and I am there for the behind-the-scenes daily grind of my life. I see my good, bad and ugly and therefore it is easy to judge myself. I must remember that every single person has that kind of messy life behind the closed doors of their life as well. There will always be someone who is more green than me, more eco-conscious than me, and I am working on seeing them as someone to follow and learn from rather than a measure of my inadequateness as an environmentally aware person.

source: www.spirituallythinking.blogspot.com

So, as a reminder to myself of my highlight reel for 2012, I've compiled a list of things of which I am proud, things for me to read on my low days, when I am feeling overly judgemental of myself. This is my top ten list to read to myself to give me energy when I need a do-over.

1. This past summer, when my youngest daughter was almost two and a half years old she weaned. After struggling for the first two months with my first two daughters and having a rocky breastfeeding relationship, breastfeeding went very smoothly, one might even say naturally, with my third daughter. I attribute it to a spontaneous, unmedicated home birth in which we had immediate uninterrupted skin-to-skin contact for at least the first hour (as far as I can remember) of her life. Weaning my youngest brought to an end over 68 months of breastfeeding in total between each of my daughters. I know that I did my best to give them the best start in life that I was capable of and I am proud of what my body was able to do for them. I feel very good that I sustained them with the most Earth-friendly nourishment that I could (I am not judging mothers who made other choices about how to feed their babies by saying this). While I was ready for that part of our relationship to end, my daughter wasn't fully prepared and to this day she occasionally likes to climb into my lap and pretend to have her beloved "milky milky".

My wee one breastfeeding her baby - modelling behaviours at it's best!

2. We continue to search for ways to reduce our use of single use disposable items. We have not used paper napkins or paper towels for years (with a perhaps two lapses per year when we have a large party and know we will run out of cloth napkins for all the guests). I have used cloth feminine napkins for at least a decade now.

purchased from www.mylittlegreenshop.com

This year I added stainless steel straws to our home, along with an increasing number of stainless steel dishes and containers to slowly replace plastic in our home. I love how stainless steel cleans up and does not retain the smell of the food the way that plastic can.

3. We continue to find ways to detoxify our cleaning products more natural, less chemical-based ingredients. I have fully switched to vinegar and baking soda alone for the majority of our household cleaning needs. We use mostly soap nuts for washing our clothes, but I am finding that they are not great for removing stains. I found a link for making my own laundry soap and that will be something I try in the new year. The last two areas where I would like to find something more natural are in our dishwashing soap and dishwashing machine detergent.

4. This year we completely eliminated commercial air fresheners because of their toxic ingredients and links to a variety of health concerns. We currently use baking soda for kitty litter odour (open box near the kitty litter box) and drops of essential oil in high odour areas like the bathroom. Occasionally I put a drop or two of essential oil of choice the wax of a burning candle to diffuse the smell quickly. We used to use incense quite extensively but have not done so as much recently. I find the best way to freshen the smell in a room is to just open a window. One thing I would like to focus more on in the new year is the use of plants for room air quality. We have very few indoor plants because our cats are very naughty and kill them by chewing on the leaves.

5. I am slowly learning ways to detoxify personal care products such as creams, shampoos, toothpaste, deodorant and make up. We have used "natural" toothpaste for years but I would like to challenge myself to make my own at some point in the future. I have found some interesting links for making my own on Pinterest and I'm excited to source ingredients. This past year I found some very expensive make up (eyeliner and mascara) at a local natural foods grocery store. The ingredients seem to be good but the product comes from Germany and when I say it is expensive I am not exaggerating ($40 mascara anyone?). To compensate for this I am trying to go without as much as I feel comfortable. This means going au naturel on days that I don't go to work or have a dress up event (I'm somewhat vain and sometimes feel like I need a little more colour). I am slowly transitioning to natural crystal deodorant because the ingredients in my antiperspirant are horrible (including horrible fragrance, or "parfum", which is linked to a variety of health concerns such as asthma and other respiratory illnesses). I am finding this a challenge, however, because I am a very sweaty person. I have a phobia of sweat marks on my clothing and crystal deodorant just doesn't cut it in that department. Again, I am compensating by using the crystal deodorant on my days off work. One area in which I am most proud is switching to baking soda and apple cider vinegar to wash my hair (called the "no-poo"method).

6. I am almost ready to call myself a vegetable gardener. I have dabbled in container gardening over the past ten years while living in apartments and a townhouse. Almost three years ago we moved into our new home, our first single family house with a large backyard and I was most excited about having room to have a vegetable garden. This has been a very gradual process with adding a new raised garden bed each summer we have lived here. I hope to have a maximum of four raised beds in the backyard next summer. I did very well with just two raised beds this past summer, growing dozens of vegetables and this fall I planted garlic for the first time. I know just a little bit, in fact only enough to know how much I don't know, but I'm game to experiment and learn. It was interesting to participate in our local CSA to compare what we received with what we grew, and this has increased my desire to branch out and try eating and growing new foods (like fava beans). My mother gave me a subscription to a Canadian gardening magazine, and I have a subscription to an organic gardening magazine and I bought a how-to guide for winter gardening. Once the dust settles on the festive season I will devote some serious time to planning my summer garden.

My garden mid summer this year.

7. I am not a baker. A friend has blogged about there being cooking people and baking people. I am decidedly in the former camp because I like to experiment and substitute, which just does not work with baking. When I do want to bake I don't have the correct ingredients because I never bake. I do, however, like to eat baked goods. A favourite of mine is breakfast scones. For a few years now I have bought my scones at my local grocery store. The drawback is that they come in a plastic container that I then have to recycle. I have been trying to focus on reducing what I consume before recycling what I use because of the energy used to recycle paper, plastic, metal and glass. The plastic waste finally got to me and a few months ago I started baking my scones each week. With practice I am getting better and am starting to expand my repertoire of baked goods.  Another reason I feel good about this is because I know what has gone into my baked goods. I can make them as natural and healthy as I want rather than having a bunch of ingredients I cannot pronounce that are there to increase shelf life.

My delicious, home-baked cheese scones for breakfast.

8. I've been trying to use my bike more in 2012. As my children get older and more capable my ability to bike with them will increase, making it easier to get out on my bike for daily errands and local commuting. There have been some blips and blurps along my path, as I'm sure there will continue to be, but I'm trying. I hope that as the weather warms and dries up in the spring and summer I will be more exclusive in my bike use.

9. After pinning dozens of knitting and crocheting ideas on Pinterest, I finally dusted off my knitting needles and finished some beginner projects for Christmas presents. I value making presents for people I love and I made each of my daughters scarves and each of the ladies in my extended family infinity scarves. My daughters had fun looking through my yarn bin and we found a few incomplete projects from years ago that I am now motivated to finish. I hope to take a knitting course or two to help me make progress in knitting in the round, turning the heel on socks and pick up stitches so I can complete some more advanced projects. I used to knit and crochet, especially for baby gifts, but when my own children entered the picture I lost the energy and time to keep up with it. That, along with small hands getting into my things and pulling all the stitches off needles made me put my yarn and needles away for over eight years.

10. I have been mulling and pondering about creating this blog for over a year, but I have been intimidated by the talented men and women out there writing about and sharing their thoughts and reflections. I was also scared of a learning curve with blogging and didn't know where to begin. I finally decided to just jump in with both feet and not worry about whether anyone would ever read my blog. If I'm being honest I'd admit that I want someone to read this blog - otherwise I would just write my thoughts in a journal. I'm proud that I started sharing my journey, even if it just documents for myself what I'm doing. I do believe that it is making me feel more accountable and more clear in what I am doing and hope to do. Something that I'm pondering now is writing for a supposed audience, of which every writer must be thinking about, versus writing for myself, because the two are often quite different.