2012 Highlight Reel

2012 has been a busy year of settling into routines, which has allowed me to try new projects and new ideas, this blog being one of them. Often at this time of year, after the big family festivities are over, I feel stuck in a rut, like I'm taking one step forward and two steps back. To help me feel a sense of accomplishment I want to look back over the year and think about everything that has helped me move forward on my life path.

When my children were very little most of my energies were devoted to meeting their immediate needs. I know that some women are able to balance their babies' needs and their own, but I am not one of them. Working part time and being a mother was pretty much all I could handle. As much as some say it might not be emotionally healthy, I am an all or nothing sort of person, as my husband will tell you. I think that in the past I have avoided getting into something new because I don't enjoy it unless I can throw myself wholeheartedly into it, which leaves little of my attention for anything else. Therefore it isn't surprising that looking after a baby took much of what I had to give.

My wee one when she was a newborn. 

My youngest daughter will be turning three in 2013 and I am finally beginning to feel like she does not require my full and undivided attention all day long as infants do. There are moments I can carve out for my own projects and passions that sustain me and fulfill my creative side, which I have been missing for a long time. Not for long, mind you, because she is a little monkey and into everything so much more than I remember my other daughters being. She has redecorated my walls with pens, added colour to my couch with juice, and added patterns to my carpet with a sharpie.

I want my daughters to see me being a life-long learner and meaningfully engaged in something because I believe that modelling is one of the best form of learning for children. It fills my heart to hear my daughters'  questions about what I am doing and see my daughters grab crafting supplies to make alongside me. I want them to be happy in life and I believe one path to happiness is to have interests and passions.

I am grateful that I have developed an interest in photography because it gives me something creative I can do with small children. Besides, what parent doesn't like taking pictures of their kids?!

My five year old in particular has followed in my footsteps and enjoys photography.

It is easy as a women to be overly harsh and self-judging. I could compare myself to the other mothers who always seem to be more calm, patient and together than me. I could compare myself to other crafters or gardeners who seem more knowledgeable and talented. I'm sure, though, that for every person I could compare myself to there is someone who sees me as talented and knowledgeable. I'm not saying I am talented because I know what is going on in my head and I am there for the behind-the-scenes daily grind of my life. I see my good, bad and ugly and therefore it is easy to judge myself. I must remember that every single person has that kind of messy life behind the closed doors of their life as well. There will always be someone who is more green than me, more eco-conscious than me, and I am working on seeing them as someone to follow and learn from rather than a measure of my inadequateness as an environmentally aware person.

source: www.spirituallythinking.blogspot.com

So, as a reminder to myself of my highlight reel for 2012, I've compiled a list of things of which I am proud, things for me to read on my low days, when I am feeling overly judgemental of myself. This is my top ten list to read to myself to give me energy when I need a do-over.

1. This past summer, when my youngest daughter was almost two and a half years old she weaned. After struggling for the first two months with my first two daughters and having a rocky breastfeeding relationship, breastfeeding went very smoothly, one might even say naturally, with my third daughter. I attribute it to a spontaneous, unmedicated home birth in which we had immediate uninterrupted skin-to-skin contact for at least the first hour (as far as I can remember) of her life. Weaning my youngest brought to an end over 68 months of breastfeeding in total between each of my daughters. I know that I did my best to give them the best start in life that I was capable of and I am proud of what my body was able to do for them. I feel very good that I sustained them with the most Earth-friendly nourishment that I could (I am not judging mothers who made other choices about how to feed their babies by saying this). While I was ready for that part of our relationship to end, my daughter wasn't fully prepared and to this day she occasionally likes to climb into my lap and pretend to have her beloved "milky milky".

My wee one breastfeeding her baby - modelling behaviours at it's best!

2. We continue to search for ways to reduce our use of single use disposable items. We have not used paper napkins or paper towels for years (with a perhaps two lapses per year when we have a large party and know we will run out of cloth napkins for all the guests). I have used cloth feminine napkins for at least a decade now.

purchased from www.mylittlegreenshop.com

This year I added stainless steel straws to our home, along with an increasing number of stainless steel dishes and containers to slowly replace plastic in our home. I love how stainless steel cleans up and does not retain the smell of the food the way that plastic can.

3. We continue to find ways to detoxify our cleaning products more natural, less chemical-based ingredients. I have fully switched to vinegar and baking soda alone for the majority of our household cleaning needs. We use mostly soap nuts for washing our clothes, but I am finding that they are not great for removing stains. I found a link for making my own laundry soap and that will be something I try in the new year. The last two areas where I would like to find something more natural are in our dishwashing soap and dishwashing machine detergent.

4. This year we completely eliminated commercial air fresheners because of their toxic ingredients and links to a variety of health concerns. We currently use baking soda for kitty litter odour (open box near the kitty litter box) and drops of essential oil in high odour areas like the bathroom. Occasionally I put a drop or two of essential oil of choice the wax of a burning candle to diffuse the smell quickly. We used to use incense quite extensively but have not done so as much recently. I find the best way to freshen the smell in a room is to just open a window. One thing I would like to focus more on in the new year is the use of plants for room air quality. We have very few indoor plants because our cats are very naughty and kill them by chewing on the leaves.

5. I am slowly learning ways to detoxify personal care products such as creams, shampoos, toothpaste, deodorant and make up. We have used "natural" toothpaste for years but I would like to challenge myself to make my own at some point in the future. I have found some interesting links for making my own on Pinterest and I'm excited to source ingredients. This past year I found some very expensive make up (eyeliner and mascara) at a local natural foods grocery store. The ingredients seem to be good but the product comes from Germany and when I say it is expensive I am not exaggerating ($40 mascara anyone?). To compensate for this I am trying to go without as much as I feel comfortable. This means going au naturel on days that I don't go to work or have a dress up event (I'm somewhat vain and sometimes feel like I need a little more colour). I am slowly transitioning to natural crystal deodorant because the ingredients in my antiperspirant are horrible (including horrible fragrance, or "parfum", which is linked to a variety of health concerns such as asthma and other respiratory illnesses). I am finding this a challenge, however, because I am a very sweaty person. I have a phobia of sweat marks on my clothing and crystal deodorant just doesn't cut it in that department. Again, I am compensating by using the crystal deodorant on my days off work. One area in which I am most proud is switching to baking soda and apple cider vinegar to wash my hair (called the "no-poo"method).

6. I am almost ready to call myself a vegetable gardener. I have dabbled in container gardening over the past ten years while living in apartments and a townhouse. Almost three years ago we moved into our new home, our first single family house with a large backyard and I was most excited about having room to have a vegetable garden. This has been a very gradual process with adding a new raised garden bed each summer we have lived here. I hope to have a maximum of four raised beds in the backyard next summer. I did very well with just two raised beds this past summer, growing dozens of vegetables and this fall I planted garlic for the first time. I know just a little bit, in fact only enough to know how much I don't know, but I'm game to experiment and learn. It was interesting to participate in our local CSA to compare what we received with what we grew, and this has increased my desire to branch out and try eating and growing new foods (like fava beans). My mother gave me a subscription to a Canadian gardening magazine, and I have a subscription to an organic gardening magazine and I bought a how-to guide for winter gardening. Once the dust settles on the festive season I will devote some serious time to planning my summer garden.

My garden mid summer this year.

7. I am not a baker. A friend has blogged about there being cooking people and baking people. I am decidedly in the former camp because I like to experiment and substitute, which just does not work with baking. When I do want to bake I don't have the correct ingredients because I never bake. I do, however, like to eat baked goods. A favourite of mine is breakfast scones. For a few years now I have bought my scones at my local grocery store. The drawback is that they come in a plastic container that I then have to recycle. I have been trying to focus on reducing what I consume before recycling what I use because of the energy used to recycle paper, plastic, metal and glass. The plastic waste finally got to me and a few months ago I started baking my scones each week. With practice I am getting better and am starting to expand my repertoire of baked goods.  Another reason I feel good about this is because I know what has gone into my baked goods. I can make them as natural and healthy as I want rather than having a bunch of ingredients I cannot pronounce that are there to increase shelf life.

My delicious, home-baked cheese scones for breakfast.

8. I've been trying to use my bike more in 2012. As my children get older and more capable my ability to bike with them will increase, making it easier to get out on my bike for daily errands and local commuting. There have been some blips and blurps along my path, as I'm sure there will continue to be, but I'm trying. I hope that as the weather warms and dries up in the spring and summer I will be more exclusive in my bike use.

9. After pinning dozens of knitting and crocheting ideas on Pinterest, I finally dusted off my knitting needles and finished some beginner projects for Christmas presents. I value making presents for people I love and I made each of my daughters scarves and each of the ladies in my extended family infinity scarves. My daughters had fun looking through my yarn bin and we found a few incomplete projects from years ago that I am now motivated to finish. I hope to take a knitting course or two to help me make progress in knitting in the round, turning the heel on socks and pick up stitches so I can complete some more advanced projects. I used to knit and crochet, especially for baby gifts, but when my own children entered the picture I lost the energy and time to keep up with it. That, along with small hands getting into my things and pulling all the stitches off needles made me put my yarn and needles away for over eight years.

10. I have been mulling and pondering about creating this blog for over a year, but I have been intimidated by the talented men and women out there writing about and sharing their thoughts and reflections. I was also scared of a learning curve with blogging and didn't know where to begin. I finally decided to just jump in with both feet and not worry about whether anyone would ever read my blog. If I'm being honest I'd admit that I want someone to read this blog - otherwise I would just write my thoughts in a journal. I'm proud that I started sharing my journey, even if it just documents for myself what I'm doing. I do believe that it is making me feel more accountable and more clear in what I am doing and hope to do. Something that I'm pondering now is writing for a supposed audience, of which every writer must be thinking about, versus writing for myself, because the two are often quite different.

Just Plain Old Vinegar

A few weeks ago, after accidentally smashing the glass on my cook top, we had a service agent install a new one in our kitchen. As he was cleaning up, he asked for a cleaner to wipe the marks off the surface. My husband gave him our squirt bottle with a mixture of vinegar and water, to which he responded that he wanted something that would clean properly.

I understand why people do not think that vinegar cannot do the same job as more harsh commercial cleaners. Corporations spend millions and millions of dollars on advertising aimed at making us think we will be cleaner, healthier, and therefore happier if we use their products. They will kill 99% of germs and make our home smell wonderful in the process. And don't forget that we require special, specific products for each cleaning task; a toilet bowl cleaner, a tile cleaner, a window cleaner, a floor cleaner, a surface cleaner, and on. Buy this, buy that, spend the money and your life will be somehow perfect, or at least it's what the commercials would have us believe. The ads are very convincing.

Windex, for windows!

When my oldest daughter was an infant, I believed that I was a good mother because I routinely cleaned every surface she might touch. I didn't want her fragile immune system to be compromised by those evil everyday germs all around us. Television shows alert the public to the bacteria count on everyday surfaces like toilets and cell phones, or on the cleanliness of hotel rooms, which all increase the public's fear of dirt. Of course advertisements confirm this belief, touting products to clean a child's environment. I think my mother chuckles at some memories of being in restaurants with me with my first born, scrubbing the table with either baby wipes or hand sanitizer because I could imagine the germs that were inhabiting the cloth the server used to clean the table.

As we mature and learn we know better. And as we know better, we do better. Of course I now know the dangers of a sanitized environment scrubbed of any and all germs. Some are beneficial and we need them. Some help build up our immunity as protection from the nastier bugs. In fact, the hygiene hypothesis states that we are creating allergies and possibly asthma with hyper clean environments that limit our exposure to germs that may increase our immunity. As well, the cleaning products we have been using to scrub our homes and bodies may be irritants, allergens and carcinogenic. What a double whammy - expose ourselves to harmful chemicals in an effort to clean our homes of germs that we need to be build our immunity. Please go to this link to see the harmful chemicals in the products we buy. I am not a scientist so I will not attempt to synthesize information about the toxicity of cleaning products, but please read some of the links I have included throughout this post, do your own research and learn about what corporations are getting away with; it isn't just in developing countries that known harmful agents are sold to consumers. The products are not regulated by the government  and it is buyer beware.

What to do with all these toxic products that were left in our home when we moved in? 

Can't throw them out, so they sit high in a cupboard.

With the rise of awareness about harsh cleaners and the dangers they pose to us, we have seen the increase in availability of eco or green cleaners on our grocery store shelves. Some are good, but companies are not alway forthcoming about how green they actually are. It takes a great deal of effort for the average consumer to research the safety of ingredients in products, and we often mistakenly assume that if it is being sold in a store it must be safe. Fortunately there are individuals and organizations like the David Suzuki Foundation working to educate the public about safe, non-toxic household cleaners (this link is a good start). There are companies, like Norwex, who sell microfibre cloths and non-toxic products as well.

My microfibre cloth, similar to Norwex

My choice is to use vinegar because I do not need multiple products to clean my home. It is edible, biodegradable, non-toxic, safe on skin, inexpensive (especially when purchased in bulk) and easy to use. Just google "vinegar cleaning properties" and you will have link after link touting the wonders of vinegar. It can be used to clean all kitchen and bathroom surfaces, deodorize, remove stains, clean glass and mirrors, remove soap buildup in washing machines, showers, and bathtubs, and on and on.  The only caveat is that it cannot be used on marble due to its acidic content. Combined with baking soda and a clean cloth (and old fashioned soap), I clean any and every surface in my home. People like to have their home smell clean, and some may find the smell of vinegar overwhelming at first. However, now when my family comes in the home they know I have been cleaning because of the vinegar smell (a friend suggested putting cloves in the vacuum cleaner to freshen the air when cleaning). For tough jobs I add baking soda (don't get me started on this wonder product!), use a stronger solution and a little elbow grease. My only complaint is that it comes in a plastic container which must either be recycled or reused (note to self, create a Pinterest board of plastic vinegar bottle crafts and reusing ideas).

My giant bottle of vinegar. 

Any ideas for what to do with it when it is empty?

I keep several squirt bottles of a vinegar solution around my home for easy access and I use them on a daily basis. Yes, plastic does not last forever and the squirt bottles eventually wear out, but this is a much better solution to having to recycle multiple plastic bottles of cleaning products, or even worse, having to throw them away because that type of plastic is not recyclable.

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Since sharing this, I have had some feedback about using vinegar as an effective disinfectant. Sometimes, isn't bleach just needed? I have been there, especially after a particularly bad bout of stomach flu that rolled through my entire family like a bulldozer. I felt the need to scrub every surface of my home. However, for most household disinfecting needs, vinegar really is enough (see link). As well, we do need to remember that we shouldn't be killing all germs in our environment. We are not a restaurant following strict health codes, and we need to make sure that we are exposing ourselves to good dirt.

Just plain old vinegar truly is enough.