Nature Heals

I have struggled with blogging for the past few weeks, with little desire and seemingly little time to do so, which is ironic given that I am on summer vacation. I have also been trying on post ideas and tossing them to the side because they didn't grab me. I have even forgotten to post when I have made commitments to do so, which makes me feel guilty. But I now have something that I think I am ready to share, and it is going to be hard for me, so please be kind.


I have been depressed for many weeks now. Thankfully I have not struggled with depression for many years, or a lifetime, as some people do. I am no expert on depression and in the past I have struggled to empathize with people who are depressed. You know, like just focus on the positive, stop dwelling on the negative in your life. 

For many reasons my life this summer has been a perfect storm for depression. Professionally I am struggling because I am involved in a prolonged labour dispute that shows no end. This has triggered monetary stress, which in turn has triggered a whole variety of other stresses. Then there are cyclical reasons for my low mood (what woman hasn't experienced this?). The cherry on top is that my left hip has been inflamed and extremely painful since June (hmm, coincidence?) which has caused my lower back to go out. Anyone who has every experienced chronic pain can tell you the effect that it can have on mood. Of course, the pain has slowed me down and I have not enjoyed as many long walks and bike rides as I had hoped I would. Thankfully my hip and back are improving (but that is another story).

Also playing into this, I believe, is that I may be spending less time outside than I should in the last couple of weeks. My middle daughter was stung quite badly at the beginning of the summer and it has been a struggle to get her to spend any length of time outdoors, which caused us to cancel our summer camping trip. Also, because it is so hot out during the day (we have had an unusually hot and dry summer here in the pacific northwest), we have been seeking cooler locations, usually indoors during the warmest times of the day. 

But I know that Mother Nature is the greatest medicine, and I have a treatment plan.


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A Quiet Moment

Despite disliking being crazy busy, and despite disliking it when people say they are crazy busy, I have been crazy busy. Life with a job, three kids, two cats, family members with health problems, after school activities, yada yada yada.

As a culture we glorify busy. We cram our lives with things to do and places to go. We schedule our children's lives and join activities. We work and overwork.

Recently I haven't had much time for myself, but when my time became a bit more open I decided to not only get back into a regular exercise routine but find time to centre myself and meditate.

Nothing makes me more calm and centred than to spend time outside in a natural setting, particularly by  water. We live five minutes from the mouth of the Fraser River in Steveston, an idyllic fishing village. I enjoy going for walks and runs along the river bank year round. In the winter I love the foggy, frosty mornings; in spring I enjoy the fresh new green and flowers; in the summer I find peace in the golden sunsets; in the fall I love the crisp air and warm colours.

Along the river bank

My usual running route has been closed due to boardwalk reconstruction so I have been heading in the opposite direction along the river. One day I decided to stop and go exploring down on the shoreline to get a closer view of a blue heron. I rediscovered an amazing little beach and decided to sit on a log for a while. The sounds of birds, the lapping water and wind calmed me so I closed my eyes to listen more mindfully. Before I knew it I was meditating, which I have not done for some time.

The Earth's creatures living in harmony.

It is particularly difficult to find quiet alone time with three children, especially when even going to the bathroom is no longer alone time. I have wanted to do this for a while (one of my new year intentions this year) but because of my crazy busy life I just didn't make it a priority. Of course, much like exercising, it is precisely when we are busy and feeling stressed that we should make time for this.

The air is fresh and salty where the Fraser River meets the ocean.

I was out of practice and found my mind wandering constantly, but I always brought myself back to my breath. I particularly like meditating by water because ebb and flow of the water mirrors breathing. It makes it easy to remember to breathe mindfully when Nature is right there reminding me with her rhythms.

My new favourite meditation spot.

The effect of this brief moment was immediate. I felt calmer and yes, happier. I have since returned to this spot once a week when my youngest is in preschool, but I need to find the time in my regular life more often.

If it is important I will make time; otherwise I'm just making excuses.