I have struggled with blogging for the past few weeks, with little desire and seemingly little time to do so, which is ironic given that I am on summer vacation. I have also been trying on post ideas and tossing them to the side because they didn't grab me. I have even forgotten to post when I have made commitments to do so, which makes me feel guilty. But I now have something that I think I am ready to share, and it is going to be hard for me, so please be kind.
I have been depressed for many weeks now. Thankfully I have not struggled with depression for many years, or a lifetime, as some people do. I am no expert on depression and in the past I have struggled to empathize with people who are depressed. You know, like just focus on the positive, stop dwelling on the negative in your life.
For many reasons my life this summer has been a perfect storm for depression. Professionally I am struggling because I am involved in a prolonged labour dispute that shows no end. This has triggered monetary stress, which in turn has triggered a whole variety of other stresses. Then there are cyclical reasons for my low mood (what woman hasn't experienced this?). The cherry on top is that my left hip has been inflamed and extremely painful since June (hmm, coincidence?) which has caused my lower back to go out. Anyone who has every experienced chronic pain can tell you the effect that it can have on mood. Of course, the pain has slowed me down and I have not enjoyed as many long walks and bike rides as I had hoped I would. Thankfully my hip and back are improving (but that is another story).
Also playing into this, I believe, is that I may be spending less time outside than I should in the last couple of weeks. My middle daughter was stung quite badly at the beginning of the summer and it has been a struggle to get her to spend any length of time outdoors, which caused us to cancel our summer camping trip. Also, because it is so hot out during the day (we have had an unusually hot and dry summer here in the pacific northwest), we have been seeking cooler locations, usually indoors during the warmest times of the day.
But I know that Mother Nature is the greatest medicine, and I have a treatment plan.
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